Does it ever seem like being exhausted, stressed and anxious is just a part of being a woman these days? We glorify the exhaustion and the busy. We joke about surviving on coffee and our kid’s leftover Cheerios. We shuffle through to the next day thinking this is just how life is—one tired moment after another. 

“Oh, I’ll finally have energy when _________.” But that day never comes.

As women, especially moms, it’s almost as if we have become “martyrs” to our exhaustion, stress and anxious thoughts. We all have the appropriate answer to the question, “how are you doing?” 

“Oh, I’m fine.” OR “Oh, we are busy.” OR “Oh, just trying to keep up, I’m tired.”

Just because exhaustion and stress is common, does not mean it has to be your normal!

What if there was a better way?

NO, let me be bold, and truthful. 

THERE IS A BETTER WAY.

Quick fix vs long term healing

It’s only human to look for a quick fix, particularly with constant marketing bombardment. If you feel like you are living from one quick fix to another, don’t blame yourself, but rather have hope and take action.

Coffee, granola bars, another intense gym workout you do but don’t love, another productivity hack, a better planner, just needing a day off, the latest biohack floating around social media promising some too-good-to-be-true benefits—none of these quick fixes are ba, but they aren’t truly addressing the root cause. 

“Surviving on coffee” and too little sleep is only a good catchphrase until it fails.

Pouring into your body, nourishing your body, seeking deep rest, looking for the root cause may be the scenic route that requires time, dedication and patience, but sets you up for a lifetime of success. Sustainable energy, deep sleep, the ability to navigate the storms of life, and feeling great….can be YOUR reality, can be YOUR new normal.

Remember, flowers don’t bloom overnight, they require patience, water, sunshine and consistency.

Shift #1: Exhaustion to Rest

Fact. You simply cannot survive going to bed at midnight night after night and relying on your kid’s leftover PB & J crumbs and coffee for breakfast.

While there may be a million reasons for why we are so tired in modern times, and a bunch of seemingly glamorous productivity hacks to “get more done” and “have more energy”, the truth is simple: we are tired because we attempt to do too much.

Exhaustion arises when there’s no breathing room, no margin, in our daily routines.

Rest is the remedy to counteract exhaustion, stress and anxiety. 

When productivity is the gold standard, life happens at warp speed and hustle is glorified, it takes intentional effort to push against the state of exhaustion and enter into rest.

Rest isn’t a black and white situation or a hard and fast rule. Rest is a moment to reset. Rest is an opportunity to bloom into the best version of yourself physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. 

Rest CAN come alongside you as you do daily life in the fast lane.

How to practically shift from exhaustion to rest:

1. Just do it—prioritize nighttime sleep: When we sleep, the brain recharges and reorganizes itself and removes toxic byproducts from the day. Studies show that: “A minimum of 7 hours of daily sleep seems to be necessary for proper cognitive and behavioral function.” 

I’m not a big believer in forcing yourself to do anything, because approaching your health from a place of “I want to” rather than “I should do” is always more rewarding, but when it comes to sleep and rest…you might just have to force yourself for a bit until habits start to shift. 

Optimal sleep happens between 10pm-6am give or take. If you are not asleep by about 10-11 pm, your body thinks there is an “emergency” and gets a second wave of energy or a cortisol surge.  This is often why when you stay up late, you think, “wow, I have so much energy and can accomplish so much late at night,”… but you pay for it the next day and long term.

If you are used to being a night owl, don’t stress; let’s take it one step at a time and slowly move your bedtime earlier. Start today by getting into bed 15 minutes earlier. Then after 3-4 days, another 15 minutes earlier, and continue till you are close to the 9:30-10 pm hour! You’ll notice waking up refreshed and ready to go just by doing this!

With deep, restorative nighttime sleep, your days will be filled with more energy, patience, presence and joy. Sleep is the first step.

My favorite addition for deep sleep is right here.

2. Learn to value micro moments of rest.

As a mom to 3 littles, life often happens in the micro moments. I’ve learned to “fill up my cup” throughout the day in 2-5 minute sprints that fuel me for the rest of the day.

• Read a book in the car line rather than doomscroll.
• Legs up the wall yoga pose—great to do with children.
• Make a fun drink (Lemon Lime Collagen, chamomile tea, sparkling water or tart cherry juice) while cleaning up the kitchen at night. You are infusing joy into a task at a time in the day when energy (and patience!!)  is typically low.
• Get into your PJs and wash your face before dinner.
• Have 5 minutes between meetings or before school pick up? Abandon your phone and go outside. Close your eyes, breathe or go for a quick walk. 

3. Add high quality, effective CBD into your daily routine.

All the best energy and productivity hacks in the world won’t be effective if your physical body is depleted and out of balance. CBD balances the endocannabioid system, which is directly connected to all other body systems, and shifts your body towards homeostasis. CBD is a true holistic approach that shifts your body out of fight or flight and into a state of capacity and energy.

Don’t continue the daily fight against exhaustion, rather lean into tools that address the root cause by restoring balance and bring energy to your day.

My favorite, cost effective way to add high quality, effective CBD into your routine right here.

Just like a paper chain starts with one link, the same is true with rest. Day after day, you intentionally add a link. Your paper chain may be short at first, or maybe you don’t even notice a difference, but with time you will see a significant shift. In time, this chain will serve as the foundation to help you weather the inevitable storms of life with more grace and ease. Trust me, you’ll thank me later!

Shift #2: Stress to Vibrancy

Stress isn’t just a “stressful day at the office.” Stress, most often, is our subconscious response to situations beyond our control. Our “buckets” often overflow with “stressors” that we aren’t even aware of…subconscious or not, the body keeps score.

the intense sickness or difficult move as a child you don’t even remember…

the underlying relational stress that eats at you despite wanting reconciliation…

the lack of deep, restorative sleep, for not just weeks…but YEARS…

the babes you brought into the world that are a miracle and a blessing, but also an intense strain on your physical and mental body…

the antibiotics you needed last year, but you’ve never been quite right since…

the trauma of an accident, a move or losing a loved one…

the lack of a real breakfast…

the on-the-go lifestyle that never allows you to deeply pause and rest…

the internal nutrient deficiencies (or surpluses) that create underlying stress you can’t see…

Shifting towards vibrancy does not require eliminating or decreasing all the stressors, that wouldn’t be possible, but rather focusing on intentional additions and rhythms that are in our control. Rhythms that spark joy, that nourish, that bring out the best in us so we can be the best for those we love.

How to practically shift from stress to vibrancy:

1. Choose one meal per day that is intentionally overflowing with nourishment. Nourishment counteracts stress. Fueling your body with real food calms the overactive stress hormones. Think through what time of day you actually have time for a nutrient dense meal eating in a calm, slow manner? 

Whether it’s breakfast, lunch or dinner, find the time of day that works best for you. 

• Could you eat lunch outside at work, rather than eating inside? Fresh air is an instant stress reliever.
• Eat dinner once a week after the kids go to bed. This is my husband and my favorite things to do as a “date night in.”
• Plate your dinner family style fully on the table. We just shifted to this rhythm and our dinners went from a stressful, anxiety invoking situation where the kids were bouncy balls to being excited to take charge of plating their own meals. Not only are our kids eating more and sitting longer, but my husband and my stress around dinner is gone!

2. Break for a cup of tea. Whether you’re home with a sick little or working away at the office, pausing for a fun drink sparks joy and anticipation, which directly lowers stress. Follow the traditions of the British for afternoon tea or the Spanish siesta hour. There’s merit in pausing. Treat yourself to a mini “vacation moment” no matter what your day holds. A London Fog latte or Lemon Lime Collagen and a few squares of chocolate are my go-tos!

3. Limit the noise. Reality is, our brains were not designed to consume the overflow of information at our fingertips. Instagram makes it “possible” for us to design our dream kitchen, while living vicariously through our friend’s Italian Rivera trip, while being heartbroken over the natural disasters happening a few states over. The constant buzzing notifications, spark instant anxiety and pull us away from presence. As much as we try it, ok as much as I’ve tried it, it’s impossible to be present with my family and present with my email inbox at the same time. 

Ultimately you have to unplug in a way that works for you, that fits your season of life. 

Here’s some inspo:

• Having a book in the car, your bag or bedside, so I reach for that rather than scroll.
• Putting my phone away (out of reach, in a different room) for a few hours in the morning until my top 2 tasks are done for the work day.
• Setting my phone aside the hour after school pick up so I can be present with my children.
• No screens or TV on while we eat dinner.

Unplugged by Hannah Brencher is the most refreshing, practical take on reclaiming your ability to be present in a digital world.

Shift #3: Spiraling Anxious Thoughts to Presence

As a holistic nutritionist, the goal is not to eliminate all stressful or anxious thoughts, that would be impossible. The goal is to shift the body and brain into a place of capacity to handle the incoming anxious thoughts and navigate through them, rather than spiral down. 

Your brain can only navigate through anxious thoughts when your body is in a place of capacity, energy and nourishment. 

So yes, if you are exhausted, worn out, or depleted nutritionally, it is common and normal to experience the persistent spiral of anxious thoughts—and overstimulation, lack of motivation, panic and impatience that can accompany.

Hear that again? Your overwhelming, anxious thoughts aren’t because your body has failed you, you have done something wrong OR that you need a better lifestyle hack or planner to fix the situation. You need rest and nourishment.

How relieving is that? You are not broken. Your body is not broken. Your emotions are not broken. Your body is simply begging for help.

How to practically shift from spiraling anxious thoughts to presence:

1. Strengthen mental clarity by limiting your to-do list. Fully accomplishing a task is an instant dopamine hit and directly decreases stress hormones and calms anxious thoughts. You know how good it feels to check something off your list?! 

When you actually accomplish what is on your to-do list, you enter the rest of your day with energy, presence, confidence and patience. Instead of putting 8-10 things on your list, (ugh hi it’s me!) and dealing with the rollercoaster of guilt and stress that follows because you feel mentally scattered, put 2 tasks on your list. Yes, there will always be more to get done, but fully accomplishing something quickly calms overwhelm sets your mental clarity up for success. 

2. Exercise consistently in a way you love: When you exercise, as your muscles contract, they release chemicals into your blood stream called myokines or “hope molecules” that can function as a natural antidepressant. In fact, a recent study shows that exercise can be 1.5 times more effective than medication at relieving anxiety. I know when I exercise, even if it’s only 15 minutes, I feel mentally free, more patient and joyful, the stress melts away.

Deepak Chopra in Quantum Healing illustrates it best: ”The frustrating reality, as far as medical researchers are concerned, is that we already know that the living body is the best pharmacy ever devised.”

Yes, your body is the best pharmacy there is! Now, get moving and go use it to your advantage.

3. Seek laughter, joy and ‘dopamine hits’ to calm anxious thoughts: Dopamine (and the other feel good hormones like oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins) counteract anxiety by encouraging the brain to better assess and respond to stressful situations, which allows the brain to process through anxious thoughts rather than be paralyzed by them.

The joy of a good laugh, a good hug, a good meal, a good workout, a good conversation, a good memory formed, boosts dopamine which directly lowers cortisol.

As dopamine rises, our body shifts out of fight or flight—this is when the body can heal and restore both physically and mentally.

Yes, pizza night and laughter sometimes is the best “medicine.”