Oh you all are in for a treat today! Natalie and I met through Beautycounter, I am the lucky one to have her on my team (yay!), and our friendship has blossomed far beyond business chat. From the first time I heard her voice I knew there was something special about her—a sense of depth, warmth and encouragement!
I asked Natalie to share a bit of wisdom for all our single ladies during this Valentine’s Day season! I have to say, as a married woman and mama, I needed to hear her words too—I know I will be able to pass this encouragement onto others one day. This post is full of words of cheer and hope for both the single lady and the ‘taken’ woman. Thank you sweet Natalie for sharing your heart and encouraging us today!
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What I Wish I Could Tell My Single Self on Valentine’s Day: Words from Natalie Lewis
Single gals, let’s get real right now.
February has the potential to be a bit of a rough month. This month often gets marked as a milestone of yet another year gone by and still no Mr. It can make it painfully obvious that nothing has happened over the last 365 days.
I have been right there with you.
There were quite a few years that I like to call “the quiet years”. It seemed like everyone had something going on at one time or another. Weddings, babies, new jobs, big moves, finding their calling for life and I was just kind of bored.
But at 31 I finally met my Mr. and looking back I can say without a doubt share that my singles years were some of the best years and brought the most fruit in my life. So today I want to share with you a few things to encourage you right where you are from someone who has been there and a few things to challenge you to make the most of this month.
3 things to encourage you…
1. God is working behind the scenes.
It may seem like things are deafeningly quiet. You may be questioning if God is even paying attention or if He has forgotten you. Or was that just me??
But hindsight tells me differently, like I’m positive it will tell you.
Hindsight tells me that God had been at work the whole time – hard at work, creating a beautiful story, behind the scenes of the life that was visible to me. There were so many circumstances that I had questioned the purpose of for so long, and now I can look back and see the purpose in them. This was not just my experience cause I’m special! I have seen this in the lives of so many girls and this will be your experience too!
Just because you aren’t seeing anything happening does not mean nothing is happening. Believe that!
2. What you see in others is the highlight reel.
Social media can be rough for singles this month. Seeing pictures of happy couples dressed up, going on fancy dates, of the sweet flowers and gifts, and of spouses gushing over each other for the world to see. I’ve been on social media for enough Valentines Days to guarantee that this WILL be what you are going to see.
But… let me remind you that this is not the full story – this is just their highlight reel. These moments shared are the beautiful moments in between the fights, the hard times, and the low lows that happen in marriage.
Think about it like this … what they see in your life might be the highlight reel too!
I’ll never forget a married mom friend telling me that she was jealous of my glamorous single gal life. What she saw was the freedom to do what I wanted, the quiet and alone time I got (a desire for most wives and moms!), my clean and girly apartment, the girls trips I frequented, and the ability to move on a whim or pursue adventure!
What she didn’t see was the lonely nights, the awkward social outings, and my unmet desires.
This was a big lesson for me. I realized that just like she didn’t see the full picture, I probably wasn’t seeing the full picture either.
3. This is a unique time that you’ll likely never experience again
I want to tell you that this season of singleness is truly a gift… but I don’t want you to hit me.
So I’ll just say that this time is really unique and something you may never experience again. There is a real sweetness about it that I can pretty much guarantee you will agree with one day.
It’s a time to cultivate independence and show yourself that YOU can do things on your own.
It’s a time to go on adventures that may be too risky later on.
It’s a time to figure out who you are and how God made you.
It’s a time to build confidence in your abilities and show yourself that you are stronger than you might give yourself credit for.
It’s a time to enjoy the quiet and margin in your life that you may have to fight for later.
It’s a time to explore things and figure out your passions in life.
There is so much goodness and sweetness in this season! Look for the good. Cultivate a heart of gratitude. Be excited for this unique opportunity. Develop a positive outlook. Exude joy and confidence to those around you. You have know idea when this season will come to an end, so it makes sense to squeeze out all the goodness that only this season can bring. 🙂
4 challenges for you…
1. Plan a Galentines night with your friends.
If you’ve never heard of Galentines (first of all, where have you been?!) it is on February 13th and it’s a night to share with your girlfriends – celebrating your friendships! Challenge #1 is to plan a fun night for you and your closest friends, married or non-married! There is no time to have a sad night wallowing in not having a date, when you are too busy planning a party for your girlfriends. Get creative with it and search fun ideas on pinterest. In the past I have done a favorites thing party, cozy nights in, or fancy dinners out. Doesn’t matter what you do, just plan to have a great night with your girls.
2. Offer to babysit for your friends kids.
I know this doesn’t sound like the most fun way to spend Valentines, but hear me out! Speaking from experience, there were some years where all I wanted to do for Valentines day was stay home and sulk. But does that sound like fun to you?
Choosing instead to selflessly serve my sister, was actually a really awesome gift for me! There is something about doing for others that brings us joy, but there’s also the kid element that works like a charm too. Have you ever noticed that kids just have this unique ability to bring joy to your heart and a smile to your face! No joking… I credit my niece, Vivi, with getting me through one of my hardest breakups…. she was 1 month old.
On top of that I was able to offer my sis with the gift of a night out with her husband, something she was craving and something I desired … (with my future husband… not hers. Lol.) It’s a sweet kind of joy to be able to give someone something that we ourselves desire!
Just try it!
3. Join us for our Wholeheartedly Devoted Study!
Sometimes the hardest part about being single is feeling alone. Maybe you are surrounded by couples and really do not have one single person to talk with about what you are feeling in this season. That can be isolating in and of itself, but you don’t have to go through it alone! Come follow along on Instagram, with a group of single women like yourself, as we go through the Wholeheartedly Devoted bible study for singles. We will have super casual chats about how our single can be transformed when we look at it from a biblical perspective. Not cheesy, just life changing 🙂
4. Spend less time on social media
Let’s get a jump start on the envy train, shall we? If you are a person who leaves social media feeling negative about yourself, it might be a good idea to avoid social media all-together on Valentine’s Day! Promise you won’t miss anything too important. But if you do decide to get on, keep a pulse on how you are feeling. If you find yourself feeling jealous of others or insecure about your situation, make the choice to hop offline!