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The one fact you will never know about my daughter

Jun 20, 2018

The one thing you will never know about my daughter | FlourishThe day I found out I was pregnant, I asked my husband an “odd” request, but one I felt convicted was best for our family and child’s future — I never wanted to share our daughter’s weight or size with anyone.  I wanted to keep that information private, only between my husband and I—not just her birth weight but also her growth and development in early childhood years.

I feel like as a society, we love to measure everything—we love to put people in categories and view phases of life as either “normal” or “not normal.”  We love statistics and percentiles.

But here is what I firmly believe—God makes each child perfect just the way they are.  Each baby, child and human is uniquely and wonderfully made.  Each human brings something unique and beautiful into this world, and we CANNOT always measure that worth and value with a percentile.  

I think sometimes we get obsessed with measuring development rather than celebrating each person’s own unique timeline, we miss out on moments to pay attention to their cues and individual needs.

Some babies are bigger and some are smaller—yes, weight can be a sign of health, but it isn’t the ONLY sign of health.  I have friends who nurse their babies and eat super healthy and have smaller babies.  I have loved ones who have learned to walk or talk later in life than is “normal” but you know what, that was their perfect timing.  Some children may develop certain characteristics quickly but be “lacking” in others for a while and that is OK.  In my mind, continuing to nurture them, love them, possibly get professional help if needed and encouraging their own timeline is most important.

As far as our darling daughter Remington, in this modern age, SO much of life is on social media and what you put up there (even if you delete it), lasts forever on the internet.  As Remington grows and watches me use social media and talk about her both in public and private, I want her to know she is celebrated and perfect for who she is and who she will become.  When she is 16, I want her to look back on old Instagram posts of her darling childhood and know that her parents always presented her in the most loving, positive way.

Body image is something that all women struggle with at one time in life.  I want my daughter to know that from the earliest days of life, we valued HER rather than her weight or shape.  I pray these somewhat trivial decisions we have made will positively impact her later in life.

The one thing you will never know about my daughter | FlourishSo yes, when people ask me “How much does she weight?” I politely decline.  Every time it is tough, and I have gotten some weird looks, but I know in my heart that protecting that information is best.  I don’t want Remington to be a statistic or for me to stress out if she isn’t in the perfect percentile, because in my mind she is perfect just as she is!

{Funny story is that since I delivered in a Spanish hospital and don’t speak Spanish, I honestly can’t tell you how much she weighed!}

So please don’t ask me how much my daughter weighs, now or in the future, because that is something the world doesn’t need to know.  

Instead, I encourage you to ask a new mom how she is feeling, how her heart is feeling, how this new adventure of motherhood is going.  Ask the questions that matter because I promise these conversations will have so much more meaning than “how much does your baby weigh.”

I by no means have motherhood figured out, but I will continue to do the best I can in each moment and attempt to navigate each phase with grace.  

Leave your favorite mom tips in the comments below!

xo, Caroline

 

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